God Save The Queen

My names Samantha. I'm from Clackamas, Oregon. Read my tumblr posts if you actually want to know more. Deuces.

lacigreen:

asylum-countess:

getoveritloveislove:

Can we just take a moment to realize how this child is acting more maturely than half the population of the earth? Kay. That will be all.

My favorite part is the realization of “that means you love each other!” what a concept! If this little boy could get it, I don’t understand why half of the population can’t..

PRESH OVERLOAD

(via ssmokahontass)

IN CELEBRATION OF NATIONAL MASTURBATION MONTH, DO ITTTTTT

  • 1: Kitchen Counter, Couch, or on top of the dryer?
  • 2: Your last sexual encounter: Good or Bad and why:
  • 3: A fictional person that you think would be good in bed:
  • 4: Something that never fails to make you horny:
  • 5: Where is one place you would never have sex:
  • 6: The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when ______________
  • 7: Weirdest thing that ever made you horny:
  • 8: What is the best way to sexually bind someone:
  • 9: Handcuffs, Rope, or Other [if other please explain]:
  • 10: What is the fastest way to make you horny:
  • 11: Top or bottom?
  • 12: We were about to ____________ but then ______________
  • 13: [example: we were about to have sex but then his mom walked in]
  • 14: Is one orgasm enough? Are multiple orgasms necessary?
  • 15: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:
  • 16: Weirdest nickname a significant other has ever called you:
  • 17: Two things you like [or dislike] about oral sex:
  • 18: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you:
  • 19: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]
  • 20: Is it ever okay to not use a condom:
  • 21: Who was the sexiest teacher you ever had?
  • 22: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:
  • 23: How big is too big (peniswise):
  • 24: One sexual thing you would never do:
  • 25: Biggest turn on:
  • 26: Three spots that drive you insane:
  • 27: Worst possible time to get horny:
  • 28: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans:
  • 29: Worst sexual idea you ever had:
  • 30: How much fapping is too much fapping:
  • 31: Best sexual complement you ever got:
  • 32: Bald, landing strip, Jumanji:
  • 33: Is it good sex if you don’t nut:
  • 34: Fill in the blanks: "If they ____________, we are fuckin"
  • 35: What your favorite part of your body:
  • 36: Favorite foreplay activities:
  • 37: Love (>,<, or =) Sex For those of us who don’t remember our math thats “greater than, less than, or equal to]
  • 38: What do you wear to bed?
  • 39: When was the first time you masturbated:
  • 40: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?
  • 41: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?
  • 42: Have/would you ever have sex outside?
  • 43: Have/would you ever had a threesome?
  • 44: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?
  • 45: Have/would you ever masturbate at work?
  • 46: Have/would you ever have sex on a plane?
  • 47: What is one song you’d like to have sex to?
  • 48: What is something nonsexual that makes you horny?
  • 49: Most attractive celebrity?
  • 50: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?
  • 51: If a child was born on the occasion of the last time you had sex, how old would that child be right now
  • 52: Has anyone ever posted nude pictures of you online?
  • 53: What is one thing that NEVER makes you horny?
  • 54: Do you have stretch marks?
  • 55: How do you feel about your stretch marks?
  • 56: Has anyone ever had a problem with your stretch marks?
  • 57: Do you like giving head? (why/why not)
  • 58: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?
  • 59: How would you feel about taking someones virginity?
  • 60: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?
  • 61: Is there anything you do on tumblr that you would not like your significant other to see?
  • 62: Do you own any sex toys? (what is it? (how long have you had it?)
  • 63: Would you give your significant other unrestricted access to your Tumblr for a day?
  • 64: Would you be offended if your significant other suggested you get plastic surgery?
  • 65: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?
  • 66: Do you watch porn?
  • 67: How small is too small?
  • 68: Have you ever been called a freak? Why?
  • 69: Who gave you your last kiss? Did it mean anything?
  • 70: Would you switch phones with your significant other for a day?
  • 71: Do you feel comfortable going "commando"?
  • 72: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn't shaved their pubic hair?
  • 73: If you could give yourself head, would you?
  • 74: Booty or Boobs?
  • 75: If you had a penis, what would you name it?
  • 76: Have you ever been on an official date?
  • 77: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)
  • 78: If you were a stripper, what would your name be?
  • 79: Have you ever had sex in your parents bed? (Would you?)
  • 80: How would you react if you found out your parents had sex in your bed?
  • 81: What was your reaction the first time you saw a penis/vagina
  • Why not, I'm not really doing anything else these days than being on tumblr. Let's see if I get any questions

Perhaps we dont like what we see: our hips, our loss of hair, our shoe size, our dimples, our knuckles too big, our eating habits, our disposition. We have disclosed these things in secret, likes and dislikes, behind doors with locks, our lonely rooms, our messy desks, our empty hearts, our sudden bursts of energy, our sudden bouts of depression. Don’t worry. Put away your mirrors and your beauty magazines and your books on tape. There is someone right here who knows you more than you do, who is making room on the couch, who is fixing a meal, who is putting on your favorite record, who is listening intently to what you have to say, who is standing there with you, face to face, hand to hand, eye to eye, mouth to mouth. There is no space left uncovered. This is where you belong.

—Sufjan Stevens (via atomos)

I love this

(via long-lean-lovely)